Sleeping Around

One of the perks of working at a hagwon (an after-school, extra lessons academy) is that you only teach after school. Obviously, work would only start in the afternoon.
This sounded like a fabulous idea. I can enjoy my night life ad nauseum and sleep-in in the mornings. Wonderful!

Not being a morning person, the concept of this work was smashing. However, I am enjoying a typical South African schedule, rather than being 7 hours ahead. In other words, when I log in at work, most of my South African brethren are doing the same back home.

Most importantly, I can sleep in. Late.

On the other side, I can stay up. Late. Or early, depending on your view point. This blog, for instance, is being updated shortly before 7am on a Saturday. I did not have a particularly out of the ordinary Friday night. I am not on a wild sleep-deprived writing spree. This is normal.

I will wake up late tomorrow.

Half of my Saturday will be gone.

I have become a child of the night.

The most irritating thing, is that even when I have a slightly earlier night, I just cannot get out of bed unless there is a pressing matter (work, apointment or transport.) It is my vice and a serious problem.

The luxury of sleep is one that I over indulge in and will do so until the very last minute. The longer I can sleep, the better. Getting out of bed is an issue.

This has always been the case. I was one of the few children who couldn't be bothered with 7am cartoons. In the event that I really wanted to watch something, I would be accompanied by my duvet and pillow and would invariably pass out on the couch.

And so, this Korean experience is worsening my addiction. I love sleep. Sleep loves me. Korea is a great marriage of the two. It is simply a good thing that there is so much neon at night so as to mimmick day light and to further enhance my denial.

But today I attempt to start a fresh. I will start my day, when it is infact still day time. When the concept of morning is not used to refer the time I return home. Yes...I am on the road to recovery.

However, Not today. Its 7am and I'm going to bed!

People in Korea speak Korean.

Most of the people in Korea are Korean.

I am not Korean.

Surprise.

When I arrived, I did so armed only with a travel guide to fuel big dreams of travel plans. However, one can only read about Cambodia and Sri Lanka so many times in the space of a few days. I was craving media.

My flat had not yet been kitted with a television, I did not have a computer and I had read the Singaporean newspaper (from teh airplane) three times.

At least I work at an english school and could read the student's material. However, spark note type books are not fun after you;ve read a few. All I wanted was some entertainment! So, after raiding the other teacher's apartments for reading material I decided to venture out to the trainstation to where there was rumoured to be an english bookstore. My quest for literature begins!

Unfortunately it was interrupted by my over ambitious nature as I jumped off at the wrong bus stop. "Surely it can't be that far away," I tell myself. "I'll walk" Nice idea. Except that where I was walking was along a busy main road along side car mechanics and second hand furniture stores. Not the most scenic of areas but books are near by. Only a few kilometers. I find the bookstore and the 10 english books on sale. Two of which I can afford (first month, tiny budget.) And so I rush home to start reading my new found treasures: Sex and the City and Alice in Wonderland. A very similar theme actually.

I was proud of my new buys...but they lasted no time at all. I devoured them in two days. During my first month I scampered around for as much english literature I could find - pamphlets, books, magazines and newspapers. When wanting to tone down from the day these were all I had. Needless to say that I can tell you all about the happening in Singapore on the 10 of March 2007, and the safety standards embrassed by Korean air.

There really isnt much English media here. On the surface it seems fairly simple. They say dont judge a book by its cover and this is so true. It is fashionable to have english titles or names. Having english wording on your product/shop/menu does not mean that there will be any english explanation within it. This irks me!

While I have found english television channels, english magazines and books and I'm now online, the Korean element is ubiquitous. For instance, I'm not sure how to format this page, as this website's features (yes, MY blog) have magically turned in to circles, swiggles and lines that are the Korean characters. I recieve bills and bank statements that have english titles but I need to ask people in the know to translate the actual content. So much for confidentiallity.

How arogant is it of me to expect Korea to be english. Especially when the reason that I am here is to teach english!?!?!

I will just have to practice my Korean, or at least bulid bigger biceps to aid with the gesturing, waving and pointing for translation and entertainment purposes.

Toilets

Yes, this may seem like a strange topic for ones blog. However, I have many memorable lavatory incidences, it would be a shame not to share them.

The bathroom is not designated much space in Korea. I have learnt to become fairly flexible in getting in and out of loos. My legs are too long for the smaller cubicles and I have become quite inventive with handling the call of nature. This however, is not something that I intend on discussing in general. I am not a fan of toilet humour and will limit it accordingly. This sounds contradictory, but I will try!

Korean plumbing is not made to handle anything other than the necessary. This I did not know. So, one fine day I notice that my toilet is broken. Wonderful. I am going to have to get a plumber. I am going to have to battle my way through the korean/english barrier and have someone tell me how to use a toilet. I start to prepare for the most embarrasing day of my life. But first, let me try flush again. Bad idea. Its blocked. I am just about to call my boss and explain my dilema, when I look at my watch and realise that I only have a few hours before I need to go out.
So, I put on my runnning shoes and sprint down to the supermarket and look for one of those things that I've only ever seen in the movies. A plunger. Only one left. Phew. Now to take it home discretely. I buy some food to make it look more natural, but it really does stick out. The check out lady gives me a knowing smile. Is she being friendly or judgemental? Or both?!?! Eek!

A plunger does not fit under your jacket. It does not fit in a shopping bag. It cannot be hidden. Everyone knows what it is for. As it is, in Korea, I stand out. The plunger added to this effect. Lovely. I race home and try immitate what I've seen on TV and it worked! I can now add plumber to my CV. Also, I can get ready for my night out, not have to be embarrased further by my toilet antics and I now I have a dustbin next to my loo.
Yes, such stories are worthy of Oscar speeches.

Korea is not like Africa where the state of the toilet is always daunting. Instead the more simple the facility, the better. For instance:

Our school dinner was held at a well known franchise, Vips. It's an establishment well known for its great salad bar and top class steaks (something which is laking here.) After a couple of drinks (from the oh-so-cool, self service soda fountain) it was time to excuse myself and find the ladies'. This would not be the only reason for me to be excusing myself.

When it comes down to "business", one function is required. This facillity however, was a heated, multi functional, high tech Korean toilet. Apart from the slightly different appearence, your attention is grabbed by the heat illuminating from the seat. Strange. During the actual business, I was nervous. My philosophy is not to mix electrics and water, and here I was, doing just that! Was the toilet plugged in? Was the bathroom temperature really high or was the previous occupant...no, don't think along those lines, Claire!

I then had to work out how to flush the spaceship. I had to stand up and work out which of the 6 buttons did that. This toilet was Korean. Korean charaters adorned the various buttons. Being the forwad thinking person that I am, I look upon the actual tank for the flush handle/button or potential voice activated panel. I wasn't entirely sure what to look for. Nothing there. Okay, lets look at the button panel again.

I need...water.

The blue button with the picture of water droplets seemed an obvious choice. As I pressed it, I realised that I had made a mistake. A plastic tube rose up and started to spray small droplets in a fountain like manner. Crap. After being sprayed, I jump out the way and slam the toilet seat closed. Seemingly this is the bidet function.

While I was shaking the excess water off my shirt and thinking of plan B, the water started to overflow from under teh toilet seat. Now I was trying to avoid standing in the growing puddle on the floor. This is harder than it may seem, as although this was a decent establishment (with space age toilets) its still Asia and therefore teh cubicle was small. Not much space was available to hide. This was further hindered by the growing pool at my feet. Clearly pressing the button twice did not switch the fountain off.

It did eventually stop, I was able to calm down to a mild panic. The mutterings outside the door however, grew. Great. By now there was lots of water on the floor and clearly loads of water was in the bowl too, as nothing else was there. And so, I emerge. Relieved.

Typically there was a queue. I recieved a few stares (it did look like I had been swimming in there) and as I step up to wash my hands, the first in line takes a quick look inside my former cubicle and decides to wait for the next available loo. I run fairly quickly from the bathroom and dash back to my table, hoping to blend in. But since I was the only blond in the restuarant of 99% asian people, there was no hiding.

Worse of all: I still dont know how to flush a Hi-tech Korean toilet.